“She stayed here for two weeks after the retreat.”

Rose touched my arm.

“Breathe, Hayden.”

“Where is she now?” I asked.

“With your Aunt Marlene and Uncle David.”

The woman went inside and returned with an envelope.

“She left this for you. Your mother told us not to mail it.”

My name appeared across the front.

Not Hayden.

Hay.

Only Hannah called me that.

I opened it on the porch.

“Hay, I begged Mom to tell you. I tried sending one message, but Mom caught it and said Dad would trace me through you.

I hated her for that.

Then I hated myself because I was safe and you were home grieving me. I never left you on purpose.”

The boy stood beside the mower watching me.

“What’s your name?” I asked.

“Eli.”

His voice trembled like mine.

I nodded.

“None of this is your fault.”

I wished someone had said those words to me a year earlier.

Aunt Marlene opened the door before I could knock. Uncle David stood behind her.

“Hannah?” I called.

A mug shattered in the kitchen.

I turned.

She stood beside the sink with soap covering her wrists. Her hair was shorter.

But it was her.

“Hayden?” she said.

My name sounded trapped inside her throat.

I wanted to hug her and scream at her at the same time.

Instead, I looked down at her ankle.

“Still can’t hike right?”

She made a sound somewhere between a laugh and a sob.

Then I crossed the kitchen.

She hugged me so hard my arm ached.

“I wanted to come home every day,” she cried.

“I was mad at you for surviving without me.”

She became still.

I stepped back.